


i wish i were

by sakura_mochi (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Tendou Satori-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sakura_mochi
Summary: title and lyrics from heather by conan gray.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	i wish i were

**Author's Note:**

> i pulled this out of my ass at 3am dont kill me

_i still remember, the third of december, me in your sweater._

tendou watches from a distance, silent tears falling as ushijima walks away, the brown-haired beauty beside him.

_you said it looked better on me than it did you,_

_only if you knew how much i liked you…_

tendou walks home in the snow, bandaged hands tucked in pockets.

_but i watch your eyes as she walks by_

the next day, tendou sees ushijima meet oikawa at the front gates again. tendou can see ushijima’s eyes light up. oikawa laughs, a tinkling little cascade of nightmares.

_what a sight for sore eyes._

tendou sees oikawa’s happy little wave and smile as he skips away, every light-hearted step crushing tendou’s heart.

_brighter than the blue sky, she’s got you mesmerised while i die._

tendou clenches his fists in the pocket of his hoodie, little crescent shapes forming on his palms. 

_why would you ever kiss me?_

tendou slams the bathroom door after him.

_i’m not even half as pretty._

staring into the mirror, he sees nothing.

_you gave her your sweater, it's just polyester,_

if anyone asks, the blood came from a sports injury.

_but you like her better;_

tendou smiles through the day, pretending not to hear the whispers, the jibes, the extra weight on his crushing burden.

_wish I were heather._

_watch as she stands with her, holding your hand._

ushijima doesn’t walk home with him that afternoon, for the first time in three years, but it’s fine. everything is fine. tendou is fine.

_put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now I’m getting colder,_

tendou runs home, slipping on the snow.

_but how could i hate her, she’s such an angel._

oikawa’s smile and wave replayed over and over as tendou sobbed.

_but then again, kinda wish she were dead as she_

“satori?”

_walks by,_

“satori, can you hear me?”

_what a sight for sore eyes._

tendou choked, gasping, as strong arms wrapped around him.

_brighter than the blue sky,_

am i dying?

_she’s got you mesmerised while i die._

is this death?

_why would you ever kiss me?_

and then he feels warm lips against his own.

_i’m not even half as pretty._

tendou’s eyes are clouded with tears, but he can see just fine.

_you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester,_

ushijima’s kissing him.

_but you like her better;_

and it feels like heaven.

_i wish i were heather._

tendou’s eyes flutter shut.

_oh, i wish i were heather._

he returns the embrace.

_oh, oh, wish i were heather._

when they break apart, tendou is the first to speak.

_why would you ever kiss me?_

“why?” tendou’s eyes are crimson glass.

_i’m not even half as pretty._

“you deserve better. i’m so ugly.”

_you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester,_

ushijima is a man of few words, but he’s adept at expressing his thoughts in other ways. such as the kiss he presses to tendou’s cheek, and the warm sweater he drapes over tendou’s shoulders.

_but you like her better;_

“i love you, you know.” tendou’s lip quivers.

_wish I were._

“i love you too, satori.”


End file.
